I am a hot chocolate fiend.The greatest gift my wife ever game me during our courting years was a really nice home hot cocoa maker. I love that machine. Each winter I fire it up just about nightly and guzzle a pot of gourmet chocolate by myself. And other than sending Wilford Brimley into diabetic shock, I never expected my wintry addiction would have any serious health effects until my doc did a routine blood test during my most recent check up and cautioned me my calcium levels were off the charts. Barring an immediate change in diet, she said, I ran the risk of developing kidney stones. My dad caught a bad bout of the stones when I was a kid and I can honestly say, Carcass’ “Manifestation of Verrucose Urethra” from Reek of Putrefaction comes pretty damn close to describing the pain I witnessed. So for the inaugural Carcass calendar for 2009, let’s marvel at the sheer density of sesquipedalian verbiage the band managed to cram into a brief song that answers that age old question, Why does it burn when I pee?
Bloody hypertrophy of papillae spewing urethritis like urticaria
Septicaemia filled dermis scorched by acidic uric nocturia.
Verrucose urethra
Glutenous condyloma
Ureterocoeles excreting warm, decaying, cystic pemphigus
Gnawing at flesh with rancid uraturial lust.
Septicaemia filled dermis scorched by acidic uric nocturia.
Verrucose urethra
Glutenous condyloma
Ureterocoeles excreting warm, decaying, cystic pemphigus
Gnawing at flesh with rancid uraturial lust.
Hypertrophy – n. abnormal enlargement of an organ.
Papillae – n. small nipple-like protrustions.
Urethritis – n. inflammation of the urethra.
Urticaria – n. a transient skin allergy characterized by pale or reddened irregular, elevated patches and severe itching.
Septicemia – n. a persistent blood-borne bacterial infection.
Uric – adj. of or pertaining to or derived from urine.
Nocturia – n. night time urination.
Verrucose – adj. studded with wart-like protuberances.
Glutenous – adj. like gluten, a wheat-based adhesive
Condyloma – n. yet another wart-like protuberance, usually on the anus or genitals.
Ureterocoeles – n. a congenital abnormality of the bladder in which the distal ureter balloons at its opening into the bladder, forming a sac-like pouch.
Cystic – adj. pertaining to have cysts.
Pemphigus – n. any of several fatal skin diseases characterized by blisters on the skin and mucous membranes.
Uraturial – not a word, but presumably an adjective that means some how related to a hunger for urine.
Papillae – n. small nipple-like protrustions.
Urethritis – n. inflammation of the urethra.
Urticaria – n. a transient skin allergy characterized by pale or reddened irregular, elevated patches and severe itching.
Septicemia – n. a persistent blood-borne bacterial infection.
Uric – adj. of or pertaining to or derived from urine.
Nocturia – n. night time urination.
Verrucose – adj. studded with wart-like protuberances.
Glutenous – adj. like gluten, a wheat-based adhesive
Condyloma – n. yet another wart-like protuberance, usually on the anus or genitals.
Ureterocoeles – n. a congenital abnormality of the bladder in which the distal ureter balloons at its opening into the bladder, forming a sac-like pouch.
Cystic – adj. pertaining to have cysts.
Pemphigus – n. any of several fatal skin diseases characterized by blisters on the skin and mucous membranes.
Uraturial – not a word, but presumably an adjective that means some how related to a hunger for urine.
2 comments:
I was wondering when we were going to get another installment.
yeah i've fallen way behind on that. i've got such a backlog of shit planned like you wouldn't believed.
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