Monday, November 22, 2010

Grindcore Bracketology: Quarterfinals 1 Winners

That grindcore trophy is almost in sight and you’ve eliminated another four contenders from competition. Here’s who you thought should move on to the semifinal round to fight it out for the title of top dog in their respective region. As always, take a gander at the revised brackets here.

North America
If you cross Pig Destroyer with Brutal Truth you’d have Brutal Destroyer and that’s what happened to the New York institution: they got brutally destroyed by the porcine ones. Though it was the closest matchup of the round, you deemed BT’s brightest days were behind them while PxDx has smooth sailing ahead by a vote of 11-9.

Asia and Australia
This one wasn’t even close. Every so often I have to stop and ask myself if Wormrot is really as good as I kept telling people they are. Was I just overhyping them? Nope. Aussies The Kill couldn’t stand against Singaporean perfection as they cruised to a 14-4 clobbering.

Scandinavia
Ditto Finnish institution Rotten Sound who clobbered forward thinking Swedes Gadget by 15-4 in the most lopsided blowout of the lot. Even though many of you grumbled the band seems to have peaked at Murderworks eight years ago, their last couple of albums were still strong enough to keep William Blackmon and crew at bay.

Continental Europe and the United Kingdom
There are plenty of people who have written off post-Dorian Napalm Death, but apparently the Brummie bangers still hold enough of a reign on your affections to power them past German goofs Attack of the Mad Axeman by 14-6. Though they may have strayed from their straight grind roots and questionable death metal excursions, the four man band’s last few platters of crusty power seem to have hit the sweet spot.

18 comments:

Flesh Monolith said...

dude, you forgot Swarrrm winning in the "bad ass" category, shame on you.

Zmaj said...

Swarrrm sounds like they don't give a shit about categories. Also, don't let Napalm Death win. The tournament ought to pertain to modern grind, not a relatively good, or at least interesting, rehashing of the old, although Time Waits For No Slave ain't even that.

Just kidding. Well, not really, 'cause I'd have voted pro-Axemen. I ought to vote next time or just shut the fuck up, though.

There seems to be a Japanese noise act called NAPALMDEATH IS DEAD. "Grind is over." How unrelated (/unsurprising) is THAT?

Anonymous said...

lol most of these bands fucking suck, especially Napalm Death. Where's the good fucking bands, these are all the big names sure but you left out wayyyy better shit. Go browse the Relapse catalog with the rest of the fags. Real Grindcore is not like this horse shit, fuck off all of you poser wannabe grind freaks!

Andrew Childers said...

you lick your mother's festering syphillitic pussy with that mouth? thanks for your insightful contribution.

and pssst, calling people fags is only an insult if being gay is, ya know, a bad thing.

Cory Monster said...

I don't know what people expect.

All the bands that won are more known than who they were put up against.

Of course they were going to win.

It's a popularity contest. .
Napalm vs. Axemen?
I myself didn't even know them latter til earlier this year. Most of the readers probably won't admit to themselves Napalm are going nu-metal again.
Go listen to Inside the Torn Apart if you need a memory jog.

Wormrot just did a US tour, and the Kill are playing MDF NEXT YEAR.
PD are the most overrated grind band of the decade. . .and that's coming from a fan. They're the only grind band some of these kids even know.
I bet you they win the whole thing.

Rotten Sound are on Relapse, but they weren't on Relapse when they did the Carcass reunion tour, where they got a ton of exposure.

10 years ago, the voting would've gone way different. You got all kinds of riff raff online now.

Andrew Childers said...

also, some people totally seem to miss the whole point of this being a goof anyway.

Wooderson said...

I've said it before, this whole Grindcore version of the Stanley Cup Playoffs is fucking fantastic. To top it all off, you don't just give us the winner of each bracket but instead supply us with some color commentating of the aftermath. Well done!

Amalgamated said...

anon had me until the relapse bomb. this is just my opinion, and it is far from professional - it just seems that over the last 8 years relapse has been the place where once-great bands go to die.

Andrew Childers said...

yeah relapse has not exactly wowed me the last few years either. they definitely got overtaken by willowtip, selfmadegod, 625, bones brigade and scrotum jus. but that's bound to happen when you go chasing discographies from annoying alternative bands rather than metal.

Flesh Monolith said...

@Wooderson good inisight, because like the playoffs all the teams i like lose and shitheads like the Wings, Flyers, or penguins get the spot light.

I'm not as disgruntled as I may seem. this is a fun endeavor that I can't thank Andrew enough for.

Bill Willingham IV, Esquire said...

SOME OF THE BANDS I LIKE DIDN'T WIN AND SOME OF THE BANDS I LIKE WEREN'T INCLUDED AT ALL [insert homophobia]

This is fun, though, for real.

Orthodoxyn said...

At the end of the day we are going through a democratic process to establish who the best current grind band are, which is by far than being forcefed what someone elses favourite band are.

Bill Willingham IV, Esquire said...

If I'm not mistaken, part of the reason for this was to end up with some good recommendations for a relative newcomer to the genre, right?

So, if some of the big names end up scoring well, that's probably a good thing, as they often make good gateways.

Or, STFU NOOB HERE IS BAND FROM MY HOUSE ONLY RELEASE LASER-DISC (see? I can put up strawmen, as well!)

Andrew Childers said...

now see, this is why i love you guys. my first response is a foul mouthed tirade. you all bring the funny. i gots the bestest readers evAR.

Flesh Monolith said...

no homo

Andrew Childers said...

maybe just a little homo?

Andrew Lipscomb said...

PIG DESTROYER

Ryan Page said...

"Or, STFU NOOB HERE IS BAND FROM MY HOUSE ONLY RELEASE LASER-DISC"

took the words out of my mouth.