I think it’s pretty much a truism that Carcass fans go in for gory entertainment, but who knew the Catholics had the same perverse inclination? And who knew they beat Eli Roth to it by about 300 years?While the Holy See today is more likely to be known for impeding medical progress, letting the little children cum unto them and deny its store of magic crackers to people who think what a stranger does with their blastocyst is none of the goddamned business.
But it turns out there was a time nearly three centuries earlier when Catholics – at lest one Irish priest – actually had a fairly morbid sense of humor. Carcass may have thought themselves witty for the baby-devouring shenanigans of Symphonies of Sickness banger “Embryonic Necropsy and Devourment,” but Irish priest Jonathan Swift had already been there and done that in his scathing 1729 “A Modest Proposal,” which suggests the destitute Irish eat their kids to stave off hunger and reduce their financial burdens.
“A child will make two dishes at an entertainment for friends; and when the family dines alone, the fore or hind quarter will make a reasonable dish, and seasoned with a little pepper or salt will be very good boiled on the fourth day, especially in winter.”
I’m already cruising Allrecipes.
...Aborted gestation...foetal mutilation......
Abortive secretions...embryonic fermentation...
Your crotch spawning afterbirth
A congealing sprog basted in cess
Palpitations spew a foetus
Sprawling in this mess...
Flowing lochial discharge
Of copious womb lining torn
The mutilated still-born mangled
By the whiplashing umbilical cord...
Mixing together post-natal juices
The dead infant used as stock
Slurping this horrendous concoction
Eat the cervical slop...
Ladling out aborted debris
Oozing guts chomped in your maw
The caesating premature baby
Nurtured in post-partum gore...
Suck cess on a plate, lick its pus from a spoon
Gnaw at rashes on a dish, munch on the expelled womb...
Its testicles incised - the foetus liquidized
Whisk the parasite - the gross remains baptized...
Stagnant placenta and smelly fluids
The stiffening dead babe's crib
Disemboweling and gutting
Grating bone and rib
Fragile limbs pulverized
Dismemberment is so cruel
Soggy organs and parturient broth
Give piquance to this sickly gruel...
Mixing together post-natal juices
The dead infant used as stock
Slurping this horrendous concoction
Eat the cervical slop...
Ladling out aborted debris
Oozing guts chomped in your maw
This ceasating premature baby
Nurtured in post-partum gore...
Drink bile from a cup, gulp its phlegm from a pot
Eat mucus on a saucer, choke on the embryonic clots...
Sprog – n. a child or a new military recruit.
Lochial – adj. of or relating to the liquid discharge following birth.
Caesetating – I found a reference to this word here, but I can’t glean any definition from it. So have at it.
Parturient – adj. In labor.
Piquance – adj. a spicy flavor.
Sprog – n. a child or a new military recruit.
Lochial – adj. of or relating to the liquid discharge following birth.
Caesetating – I found a reference to this word here, but I can’t glean any definition from it. So have at it.
Parturient – adj. In labor.
Piquance – adj. a spicy flavor.
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