So here were are almost exactly two months after this little party got rolling, and it all comes down to this. After nearly eight weeks and five rounds, you’ve offered your best arguments for which band – RottenLink or Grid Sound – should be crowned king of the world.
Now before a botoxed bimbo escorts our winners on to the stage where they’ll be unceremoniously played off by Repulsion’s “Helga Lost Her Head” if their acceptance speech rambles too long, let’s take a quick review of how we got here.
We started out with 32 bands that I, in my purely arbitrary judgment, thought represented a pretty good cross section of the best the world has to offer. Feel free to disagree. Many of you already have. But based on that, here’s a list of the roadkill to date, ranked by the number of votes they received and the round in which they went down in flames.
32. Total Fucking Destruction
30. Graf Orlock (tie)
30. Captain Clearoff (tie)
25. Splitter (tie)
25. Noisear (tie)
25. Cyness (tie)
25. Crowpath (tie)
25. Agents of Abhorrence (tie)
19. Unholy Grave (tie)
19. Infanticide (tie)
19. Looking for an Answer (tie)
19. Suffering Mind (tie)
19. The Arson Project (tie)
17. Agathocles (tie)
17. Swarrrm (tie)
13. The Kill (tie)
13. Gadget (tie)
13. Blood I Bleed (tie)
11. Attack of the Mad Axeman (tie)
11. Agrund (tie)
9. Brutal Truth (tie)
9. Kill the Client (tie)
6. Pig Destroyer (tie)
6. Nashgul (tie)
6. 324 (tie)
3. Napalm Death
So that’s the recap for those of you joining us late.
Using the Oscars as a template, I am now, of course, required to make you suffer as I ramble pointlessly, postponing the one moment you came here for until the very last second.
First off, thanks to Miskatonic who got the ball rolling by asking for advice on modern day grind classics. Using this as a template, you'll pull together a pretty wicked grind collection, dude. Likewise, everyone give Dessicated Veins a round of applause for coming up with the tournament format.
So your 2010 grindcore champion is….
Wait, wait. First give yourself a pat on the back for coming along for what I, honestly, thought would be something of an in-joke for a few regulars. So everyone who’s dropped a comment/made a cogent argument/called me an uniformed asshole/questioned my sexual orientation, thanks for your participation to a greater or lesser degree. For those of you who joined us for the first time, I hope you stick around. I always enjoy hearing different opinions on this funny little critter called grind, even if you’re totally wrong, of course. I can prove it. Using the maths.
And the winner is…
That’s right. In a stunning write-in upset, Gamefaced managed to stuff the ballot box when nobody was looking.
OK, I kid, I kid.
I shouldn’t pick on her like that.
So for really real your winner is….
By the way, how long do you think I can keep putting it off like this? How many of you are still reading this shit and how many just skipped my blather and went straight to the announcement? Ingrates.
Alright, I swear on my cat’s life. This time for true. The best band working in grindcore right now in 2010, as voted by you, the loyal G&P minions is:
Well that was pretty anticlimactic, wasn’t it? Eviscerating Rotten Sound with a "Stake Knife" (geddit? geddit?) by a final score of 20-10, GridLink rode the strength of one 11 minute “full length,” a few scattered tracks and our raging nerd hardons for the impending Orphan to Total Victory. So that means new Orphan tracks better be up as promised, Chang or the nerd hordes of the internet will rain down upon you like the arrows of a million level 15 half-elf rangers!
Anyway, once again thanks to everyone who participated. Thanks to the bands that pimped this ridiculous contest like a $2 trick.
This has a been a blast and if anybody has any suggestions for goofy stunts we can all try next, by all means drop a note in the comments.
Thus ends Grindcore Bracketology 2010. Maybe we’ll revisit the concept in a couple years to see how the top 10 holds up.