At Cold War With Grindcore

 

Scoff they who lack the illumination to see the machinations behind the facade of the 21st Century. For those accustomed to piecing together disparate signs and portents, they elucidate the true powers that manipulate our lives like pawns. In place of bread and circuses our shadowy despots gave us pre-packaged rebellion and soporific entertainments meant to lull all who questioned the construct we call reality. While we feared their efforts to immanentize the eschaton, the Earth's true masters had discovered the ultimate transcendental armament: they had weaponized grindcore. Draw near and see the auguries revealed.

Let's Play Operation



In 1961 the CIA attempted to infiltrate Singapore's secret police (hilarity ensued). The Southeast Asian nation decided to bide its time for nearly 50 years, retaliating in 2009 by enslaving the globe's gullible grind-loving children through a clever counter attack dubbed "Operation Grindcore." The vessel for this retaliatory strike was a three man commando team of subliminal musical specialists dubbed Wormrot. In less than 30 seconds, Singapore brought the right thinking grind world to its knees with its initial tactical strike.

Hash it Out



Singapore's unexpected surge for global domination was remarkably successful because first world grindcore audiences has been lulled into a pharmacological coma that left them helpless against Southeast Asia's most wicked riffs. Population Reduction lamented this indolence in their portrait of the strung out, incoherent grind masses with "Hash Smoking Grind Freaks." Befuddled by the rallying cry of "smoke, grind, sleep," Europe and North America had grown complacent, unprepared for the attack.

War is Hell... of a Good Time



The United States had actually gotten wind of Singapore's dastardly plans a few years in advance and attempted to develop appropriate counter measures.  Fearing for the very survival of American grind, the nation's finest engineers (the good kind; not these assholes) gathered together along the Gulf Coast for the blastbeaten equivalent of the Manhattan Project. Because Wormrot's riffs buzzed like subliminal wasps, the United States' retaliation was known as Insect Warfare. Despite their best intentions, the researchers feared grindcore had been irrevocably infected with Wormrot's awesomeness. The only answer was to burn it all down. They declared they were "At War With Grindcore."

If You Build It, They Will Grind



What these scientists and assorted eggheads quickly realized is that no organic drummer could stand in the face of Fitri's insane thumping. From a dark corner of the DARPA budget government spooks are loath to even acknowledge exists came Agoraphobic Nosebleed and "Built to Grind," 22 seconds of digitized terminator noise that would stand as the United States' last hope. Some men are born to grind, others have grind thrust upon them, but motherfucking Agoraphobic Nosebleed were built to grind. Now go have sex with Jesus Christ, you faggot.

Sixth Extinction



The clandestine grindcore skirmish between Singapore and the United States eventually left the globe a charred cinder set upon by roving gangs of blastbeat bandits in jerry rigged cars and football pads. The last men standing at the end of the universe, Gripe said farewell to all that came before with their lamenting "Grind into Extinction." It's the end of the world as we know. Nobody feels fine now.

Grind in Rewind 2011: The 11 Demos of '11

If this year's crop of demos are any indication, we're going to have several good years of grind before us. 2011 was chockablock with scrappy youngsters who respect their elders but aren't afraid to muscle their way to the front of the line. Especially this year's number one demo. I'd say a good four or five of these young bands could break out in the next few years. If so, the future is extremely bright.

11. Shangkuan Lingfeng
Demo
Scrappy Indonesians Shangkuan Lingfeng bulldoze their way into the last spot on the best-of list by enthusiasm and will alone. Their three song live-in-a-rehearsal-room demo may have lacked niceties (like intelligible instruments), but the band powers through with a pomp and bite that redeem the whole package. Fans of gut-level grind that gets by on energy and doesn't get hung up on the technical details need look no further.

10. Detroit
Demo
Detroit were readying a split with Robocop when their demo landed in my inbox and the Canadian band in many ways comes off as Robocop Jr., minus all the audio experimentation. What that leaves is an updated assault on '90s fast hardcore's foundations. Names like Infest, Crossed Out and Capitalist Casualties should come up in any conversation about their demo.

9. Spewtilator
Get Conjured
Spewtilator just might have penned some of the stupidest songs I've ever heard as part of their old style crashin' thrashin' Get Conjured. And deity of their choice bless them for that. It's a needed reminded that sometimes we take ourselves way too damn seriously. Some days you need to drop your worries and run around your living room pitting to songs about NES games and zombie bears.

8. Gripe
The Future Doesn't Need You
Gripe have got their grinding down, now they just need to add a few extra shelves to the workbench. The songs on The Future Doesn't Need You are uniformly strong but lack a bit of variety. However, this demo (later picked up by Grindcore Karaoke) is piquant enough that I've marked Gripe down as a band to watch. These guys have plenty of room to grow and the knowhow to get there.

7. Syntax
Demo
Syntax are on that bleeding edge of bands that absorbed Discordance Axis with their mother's milk and aren't afraid to wear their influences on their sleeves. Assuck also played a prominent role in their growth. While someone like Cellgraft has been able to turn those two pole stars into something unique, you can catch Syntax cribbing from the sheet music every so often. However, with their demo they're off to a fine start on a career that should take them far, provided their learn to bend others' tools to their will.

6. Colombian Necktie
Colombian Necktie
Colombian Necktie would make this list for the song "Joe" alone. That may be the first great hardcore song written about America's recent military excursions. The pain and guilt of that one song are undeniable and absolutely arresting. That's good enough to get the nod, but they included four other songs, including the totally unexpected piano interlude of "Lirit." Amidst the rest of their hardcore lashings, it was a surprising digression but definitely a sign of confidence from a young band.

5. God Harvest
Demo
You got your Man is the Bastard in my Vulgar Pigeons. You got your Vulgar Pigeons in my Man is the Bastard. Two great tastes that taste great together, God Harvest mix up the speedy with the trudgy and pound them both into sand with a piledriver of a bass. This isn't a demo that you listen to so much as one you feel deep in your gut. A nice, warm vibraty feeling all through your guttiwuts, as my droog Alex would put it. Put this one on right before a bout of the old ultraviolence.

4. Busuk
Beats of Rage
More than any other demo this year, Busuk left me wanting more. I'm curious to see how far this crusty-grindy group of miscreants can spread their wings after they banged and bumped with the perfect blend of intelligible performance and live-in-your-living room energy. But at only three songs, this demo feels like a bit of a tease. I know they have more left in the tank. I can't wait to hear it.

3. The Oily Menace
All Out Folk Attack
The only reason this isn't ranked any higher is that it's entirely cover versions of Napalm Death's "The Kill" and a handful of folk tunes stretching from the Depression straight through the '60s protest music heyday. Though the tunes are not original, The Oily Menace's passion is undeniable. All Out Folk Attack just bleeds excess energy into the atmosphere. This young band (who chased their demo with a quality threeway with Cloud Rat and Wolbachia) are the perfectly poised troubadours for the moment. It's an era of unrest and they've found a way to tap into that sense of anxiety and unease that define the age of economic collapse.

2. Per Capita
The Damage Done
Per Capita don't do a single original thing on The Damage Done, but they do it with such swagger and panache that it's easily pardoned. Rugged grind and crusty d-beat take one more victory lap around the track, but Per Capita are skilled enough songsmiths that I don't mind curling up with an old favorite. Plus they cover Dropdead. I'm pretty sure there's a rule somewhere that says if you pull off a great Dropdead cover you get a pass.

1. Priapus
Air Loom
Genital grinders Priapus redefine cock rock with their stellar demo, Air Loom, which takes a run at the swampy grind throne Maruta, unfortunately, just vacated. Priapus come right out of the gate with the most professional sounding demo of the year and with the attitude and chops to back up their swagger. This is the sound of tendons snapping and joints cracking over the rack in the hands of a skilled inquisitor. They play your pain like an extra instrument. I'm expecting big things from this Willowtip-ready band.

Demo-lition Derby: Gripe

Gripe
The Future Doesn’t Need You
There’s a reason the American Congress takes the summers off. For those who have never experienced a D.C. summer, it’s humid hellbroth of liquefied air and molten pavement that conspires against all forms of mammalian life. The entire city becomes a sodden, festering urban swamp that’s only fit for reptiles and nematodes. So maybe politicians would fit right in after all.
Georgia’s Gripe perfectly encapsulate the reason I loathe this city a good four months out of the year because their sweltering take on grind and power violence on their eight song demo is like watching a thunderstorm build on the horizon on a devastatingly humid summer day. The slow building nature of songs like “Go for the Throat” or “History of Violence” is like praying for the lightning to shear away the oppressive humidity only to cut loose with a barrage of frigid hail. The band has a tinge of ASRA about their protein-rich grind and hints of Benumb in their punked stops and starts.
Taken individually, the songs on The Future Doesn’t Need You massage the grindcore node of your limbic region. However, I wonder how the songs would hold up under full length conditions. While Gripe can fashion a great tune, too many times they fall back on a blast/slow part/blast formulation. It’s a move they’ve mastered, but one trick does not make a magic show.
However, this is a very promising effort but an up and comer. You can check out The Future Doesn’t Need You at their Bandcamp page.